Personalized Mailbox

How do I stop my postman from urinating in my letterbox?

I had a minor disagreement with him a month ago, because he kept leaving my mail on the doorstep instead of posting it through the letterbox. Anyway, he has started to urinate on my letters, either that or does it through the letterbox and then posts the letters through it. I complained to Royal Mail, but they don't believe me.

Public Comments

1. mousetrap inside the letter box will do the trick!
2. while he does it.. have scissors at the waiting =D
3. Stay home and chop his cock off with a pair of pruning clippers.
4. put a surveillance system
5. Attach an electric cable to your mail box
6. cut his pepee of or tell his boss.
7. Set up a video recorder to catch him in the act.
8. set fire to his pubes
9. Just Give Him a blow on the jooooooooob , he will stop
10. Put itching powder around the letter box.
11. sneak behind him and urinate in his letterbag while he is busy wetting your letterbox (or get your dog to do it for you)
12. OMG...for real?? That is so disgusting. Keep the letters for dna proof then go to the police.
13. strip the end of an extention card wire it to your letterbox
14. hot wire the box lol....
15. Wait for him, then spray burning hairspray onto his todger.
16. You need to put a camera outside of your house to catch him. The camera never lies. :)
17. Pee in a cup and throw it in his face when he comes to do it again, then chop his little acorn off, he does not deserve to his manhood!!!!
18. You need to set up a camera. It's too bad his employer doesn't believe you. I am surprised they don't investigate it either way. Once you have it on film, take it to his employer and explain. Show the film if necessary. Obviously the guy is not right in the head.
19. LOL
20. if he is doing it through your letter box an electric fence energizer and a little imagination could prevent this
21. try and get a postwoman
22. call teh cops complain or like the first guy said mousetrap your question made my day
23. Ask for a supervisior/manager at Royal Mail. If they don't listen then ask for their supervisor; if they don't listen then ask for their supervisor. Keep moving up the chain until someone takes action.
24. Have something delivered to the house that you have to sign for from the postman. He hands you the clipboard and a pen when he gives you the package, you sign it, and you whip your knob out and piss on his clipboard. At this point you say "now you know how it feels", and shove the clipboard back in his face, slamming the door. I did delete the option involving electrocution through the stream of pee into the letterbox... sorry.
25. Shoot him.
26. call the police. get them to like hide in the houss e so they can witness it... and like take pics n stuff-- get like a surveilance camera. LOL.
27. Rent a post office box at the post office. Don't bother dealing with him or the B. S. of Royal Mail. This way you never have to deal with him again and you won't stay frustrated.
28. 1. throw away your letterbox, make him come all the way to your door and give thoese letters in person!!!! now he can't do anything funny with them. 2. set up a surveillance camera (video cameras) and send it straight to the police. 3. have an argument with him (on purpose)... under certain type of pressure he would end up saying something like "yeah i did it. what can you do about that? you have no proof!" - but of course he dosnt know that you have a tape recorder and recording the whole argument and give it to the police! 4. tell a friend and ask him to make friends with that guy. make sure they bond so much that when your friend asks him if he ha done something funny lately, that postman would end up saying what he did with your letters. and ofcourse make sure ur pal tapes all that. 5. take that pee-ed on letters, put in a plastic bag and tell the cops that you think that postman did it and ask for a test to be done to confirm it. 6. outside your house, in huge letters say MY LETTERS ARE BEING PEE-ED ON. IF ANYONE OF YOU SEE ANYTHING, DONT BE AFRAID TO NOTIFY THE POLICE. (if your neighbours are friendly) when everyone one knows about this, he will be afraid to do this anymore unless he is willing to do it n the woods and soaked letters in his hands... (have you really seen him doing it with your eyes or is it a hunch. as it is possible that someone else is doing it..) just make sure that you dont do something that might backfire right back at you.
29. Make a noose in a piece of cord, wait for the s h i t to stick his dick through the letterbox, snag it , pull it tight and tie the other end of the cord to the inside door handle. Got him! Next, go out and call all your neighbours and passers by to show them your catch. Take a few shots with your camera or better still get it on video, then call the police, not immediately mind, this would be something to really savour and enjoy for as long as you could before considering "stretching it" a bit too far.
30. Call the Mirror and or the Sun. they would love a story like this, and might get somebody to watch him. Or fix up your own camera to watch him do it, and then send in the film to papers or ITV. (but keep a copy) HTH LOL
31. wee into a waterbomb and throw it at him next time. he should get the message!
32. I intended answering this question because it made me laugh, but after reading some of the answers, I think they just about cover everything! There are some very funny answers.
33. Hire a hitman.
34. Wallop him on the knob with a mallet. Works for me.
35. wait for him and trap him with a rat trap.
36. beat him up, and teach him how to respect your letters
37. Seek revenge. Urinate on your stamps.
38. If he's actually putting 'himself' through your letterbox, get a thich plastic tiewrap ( the ones used for holding cables together) and get one round him, pull it tight and he will need to explain it in casualty. That or get properly gathered evidense and get him arrested.
39. Report him to the police. It is a serious offence for anyone to tamper with mail while it is in the system. This is not a joke by the way. I'm deadly serious and a qualified lawyer.
40. set up a camera to catch him in the act. take a video of his ****** and put it on Youtube.
41. Get a dog. A really mean one.
42. wait one morning on the other side with a pait of blunt, rusty scissors (soaked in lemon juice!)!
43. what? eh...police harrassment. can you take a pic or get some evidence, he sounds like a psycho. Also the council for anti-social behaviour. If you have a CCTV camera even better. Also, tell him very firmly, I know what you're up to & I've reported you & I have evidence on CCTV camera. This is ur warning &I want to see you do it just once more, that is if you want to keep ur job & ur future jobs.